I'm so sorry, I thought I would be able to resist blogging tonight since I'm like aching all over & my eyes are closing. But I guess it has become a routine to on my computer, surf facebook and blog before I turn in. It'll be good too since awesomeboyy will come read this once he wakes up. I tried koping the photos from pikajuan's blog, but apparently they turn out vvv blur, so I shall just refer you to her blog! The camwhoring photos with HO4 are here, whiteshadowss.livejournal.com/ You'll only be able to see 4 chiobus cause lanze refused to be part of the photos.

Anyways, the day started the way I thought it would be. I felt that everyone around me was judgemental. That meant, everyone I met was judging me, despite not knowing what's going on or rather, what has happened. Of course, that's not true. I guess it was all psychological, a barrier I haven't managed to cross myself that caused me to feel this way. Today, I din't walk out with confidence. I left house with this sense of guilt & insecurity. Pikajuan told me, I might have just wasted all this time feeling insecured & worried when I could make full use of them. Her words ran through my mind many times, but somehow, I just couldn't help feeling that way.

The best thing of the day was to do something meaningful. (=

Not forgetting the awesome dinner + dessert with THE PEEPS. I will upload more photos after mad-a-le-ne uploaded them! Wait patiently! So tomorrow will be the day I'll be inside my room again, packing my bags for the last time & touching (at least opening the document) the first essay. SHHHHs away if you are thinking of dating me out!

Thanks pikajuan for the clothes! =DD I bet the kidds must be vv happy when they get them!

P.S If your name is Ronny & you have Lim for your surename & you happen to be sick today, please rest well & drink lots of water! It was painful seeing you look so pale and weak just now!

There'll be more photos after pikajuan has uploaded onto facebook, but yupps, for the rest, you can go fb to see. Despite in a very good mood now, I'm too lazy to upload them here.

Did I mention that it was a supercalifragilisticexpialidociousvvvvvvvvvvvAWESOME day? It started off with lunch@Macs & shaker fries is back. Yea, it wouldn't have affected me until I tried it out today. It tasted better than expected, so I guess I'll be eating that again before the promotion goes off. We started camwhoring at starbucks until the rest of HO4 arrived. Of course we finished our work as expected, and we went to shop for timmo's belated prezzie. Seriously, it was quite some time since I had such fun with my classmates, since I was hanging out with the GLs more than ever.

Awesomeboyy and I walked to Clarke Quay. Did I mention that it's my favourite place (HEHE!)? I've got my 35 lollies today, not forgetting that I still owe him tons of bubble teas. I think we are both going to get diabetes soon.
Most importantly, he made it to headline news when he actually.......................okayy, I shall not disclose anything since I'm such a nice person (see how much I <3 you!). (=

27th November 2009 is really a special day, especially to both awesomeboyy & me. So I shall take the effort to remember this date. <3

Did I mention I'm a happy girl today?

But I never thought I would feel this insecure.

Okayy, I'm feeling damn random now & I've decided to blog about random stuff. I realised whenever I blog randomly, I have the tendency to not care what photo I post or what style I'm writing in. And before I post this, I just went ABC's blog & found out that she's typing in paragraphs too! HAHA.

I have moved back into my room for about two weeks or so, after being spooked out for years. There's good & there's bad. It's been two weeks or so since I've last sat on that couch and watched telly. It's been two weeks or so since I've stepped out of my room for more than an hour when I'm home. My room's getting more messy with increasing things I put on my table everyday. However, my room seems to be more like a room rather than a place whereby I just put my stuff. I feel more like a teenager, using lappie on bed, blasting music and doing things more privately. (=

And I think I have awesome friends. I have my lesbo partner who is cheating on me and is planning to cheat on me again when I'm away next week. I have my brother who is crazily in love currently and is spamming me in facebook whenever I comment on him/his gf/liked their status-es. I have my bff who is going to finish her exams when I'm leaving Singapore and I will be frigging busy when I'm back so I can't really spend time with her, after not seeing her for months. I have my bestguyfriend whom I haven talked to/see for SUPER LONG and recently when he talked to me, it's about his gf. I have my boyfriend who's away shopping in msia today when I haven't even shopped myself (HAHA!). I have my ah gong who's going msia tonight and asked me to text him but apparently he won't reply any of my texts. I have this secondary school friend whom I hardly talked to (but I do visit her blog once in a blue moon) and she's enjoying life with cigarettes & booze. And of course, not forgetting many more. But you know what, I still love them lots.

I haven't spent time on books after the one ABC lent me. So I guess I'll pop by library soon to find some sooon. Yes, SOOON. Please, if you're free, drag me to the library, will you? And that hell reminds me of those days when I spent hours in the library almost every week with Soh, reading and laughing. Then at that age when we were still awfully innocent, we would giggle loudly when we came across sexual stuff. With that yummilicious chicken rice stall & school near Bedok library, there's no reason not to hang around there. Now? Textbooks, archie comics and magazines are the only things I touch. Okayy, I really need to do something about it.

After reading Nisha's blog, I started counting the number of crushes I had since primary school & I gave up counting (ooops!). Bravo Nisha who could still remember clearly!

And I'm vvv happy cause I just realised that my prepaid card could do overseas roaming! So I will bring it over there in case Dr.J doesn't allow us purchase any there, and I will still be able to drop morning messages to awesomeboyy.

Okayy, enough of typing & back to work, watching an episode of Criminal Minds & packing of bag! I'll be seeing HO4 & awesomeboyy tomorrow so I shall finish my stuff today & enjoy myself tomorrow! =DDD

I just realised I have two essays + 1 presentation + 1 counselling practical due on Week 9 & a stupidultraboringlotstomemorize test on week 8!!
&& I'll be in Cambodia on Monday,
HENCE HENCE HENCE,
Rachel'll be ultra busy when she comes back.
&& she's determined to start on one of the essay this sunday.

Pretty please do not tempt her to go out, have dinners tgt or play games.
So that she can finish her work on time & not have more white hairs!

YUPPS, 5 days of challenge is coming.
She'll survive it.
Hope awesomeboyy will too. (=
Hopefully ABC won't miss her till she start bawling her eyes out,
&& ah gong won't die because he misses his granddaughter!

&& she misses someone whom she haven't talk to for quite some time.

Finally after so long,
It hurt so much when crying,
but it feels so good after that.
That's something guys seldom experience.

This is specially dedicated to awesomeboyy.

Monday's not here & I'm already feeling the Monday blues.
I was so looking forward to e-learning week last week,
& TADA!
It's over in 9 hours time.

It'll be a damn tiring week,
with be staying back lots cause of group meetings, cambodia trip briefing & hi-club.
& group therapy's work is not done yet.
But yupps, Rachel will hang on!
cause awesomeboyy's going through well too,
despite what has happened.

Yupp, I know I'm an hour late in posting this, but still......
HAPPY BELATED 18th BIRTHDAY,
HANN KENN! =DD

These two days have been out the whole day,
I would say I've enjoyed myself lots.
But I guess it's also time for me to spend some time managing my time & school work.
Rachel's not one who plays all day & not work afterall.

Anyways, since things have gotten to this stage,
we'll manage it tgt kkaes. (=

We had this new experience (our lil secret!) which brought us closer.
&despite 2.5h at the first row,
2012 was awesome with his company.
&& Orchard lights were beautiful.

One month indeed passed very quickly.
But it contains the best days I've had.
I guess this word 'awesome' has appeared many times within this month,
&& indeed, it is an awesome month.

you made me few so loved,
that I couldn't help but love myself too. (=
many a time, i'm so scared of the day you'll leave me.
&&yupp, that was how i felt on the way home.

everytime you go 'awwww so cute!' when you see a lil kid,
everytime you tell me about how you felt when you were at GK,
everytime you sing a chinese song,
everytime you post lil messages as msn nick or on facebook,
my heart melts.

<3youawesomeboyy.

Doesn't this reminds you of heaven? (=

Rachel swears that she's going to make more time for school work,
so that she needs not stay up late just to chiong work anymore.
NO MORE LAST MIN WORK!!!!!

Super late for Hi-club,
but the two nicenice gurus did not scold us (=
&&learnt quite a bit today,
so I guess revision is a must or else I can't rmb much.


I'm contented with what I have now. =DD
Not forgetting.....


Hello ABC (=

I SWEAR I DIN'T PHOTOSHOP THE GUY IN! =XX

This whole week I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions,
which has been so tiring to conceal.
Sometimes so high that it's unbelievable,
sometimes so low that even I myself don't understand why.
I hope this ride can end soon.

Past few nights had been terrible,
with me waking up couple of times coughing & trying to find a comfortable position to sleep.
Wishing that I could possibly wake up with awesomeboyy or Jie beside me.
Oh wells.

It was quite some time since I last talked to you,
& the first question that I wanted to ask you was always the same.
But somehow it has lost its meaning,
I no longer know when I could believe your answer.
I no longer could bear to have hopes that I know will be dashed sooner or later.

& why must you treat me so well.
It just makes me feel more tired hiding my hatred.

I felt more & more dependent on you,
but the more I am,
the more insecured I feel.
It is prolly just so difficult to ever have 100% trust in someone anymore.

&&of course, not forgetting you,
I'm not harbouring hopes that our friendship would last after you come back,
but at least I'm treasuring what I have now.
&I'm definitely not gonna count down the days to seeing you off.

Rachel's falling sick.
Rachel's stressed.
Rachel won't be blogging, blog hopping or facebooking for the next few days,
until she finishes her work.